Unexpected challenges. Challenges that come suddenly, without warning. That appear to have no immediate end. Ones that require God’s grace daily, moment by moment. Full of days that are exhausting, draining, and leave you feeling empty.
It has been two month since I have written a blog post. I felt like I had nothing left to give at the end of the day.
And this particular challenge ended just as it had begun. Unexpectedly, Suddenly, Intensely.
I was left with immense relief along with lingering questions. Questions that I do not have answers to. Questions that I will never know the answers to. Questions that leave me without a sense of closure.
In the midst of these questions, I chose to rest in God’s grace and sovereignty. I trust that He sees the much larger picture. I trust that He can and will work all things together for good. I trust that He is bigger and He is able.
I choose to remember who God is. In the midst of this challenge, did I do everything perfectly? No, but I remember that God’s grace and forgiveness is there for me. I remember that He can work all things together for good. I remember that He is able to do more. so much more than I could ever imagine. When I see the limitations, the brokenness, the past… I wonder. I worry. I fear. When I look to God. I remember that He is ABLE. He is Love. He is Grace.
“Never ending, unstoppable, never giving up, un-breaking, always and forever love.”
I choose to lay down my burdens and worries. I choose trust Him. I choose not to feel guilty by the relief that I feel but trust God. I trust that He is proud of me. That I was faithful for the season He gave me.
I choose to be grateful for the lessons during this challenge.
I am grateful for how I saw my husband supported me in amazing ways. I am so grateful for the gift of my husband. For moments when he truly stepped up as my hero.
I am grateful for how God changed my heart in the midst of this challenge. For in the midst of feeling empty and drained, my heart started changing. Bitter. Angry. Discontent. Grumbling. Discouraged. A very negative attitude started to emerge. I cried out to Him to do a work in my heart that I was unable to do. In the midst of the challenge, He changed my heart. To dependency on Him. A heart of gratitude. Receiving His grace. Praising Him.
He opened my eyes and gave me fresh perspective. He encouraged me as I choose to trust Him one day at a time.
My husband warned me one particular Sunday that he was not preaching at me. The big idea of his message “Challenges are an opportunity for God to grow our character and develop our confidence in Him”. While he may not have been preaching at me, God knew exactly the reminder I needed. My Abba Father loves me enough to convict me, challenge me, and encourage me. All at the same time.
I know my tendency. To take on another’s burdens. The desire to rescue.
My Abba Father gently reminds me that I can lay it all down at His feet. Those burdens are too heavy for me to carry. They are not meant for me. HE is the Rescuer. HE is the Healer. HE is the Restorer and Redeemer. HE is ABLE. HE is Powerful. HE is Love.
The compassion, love, concern my heart feels is a small glimmer of God’s heart.
So I choose to trust Him.