What is lurking below the surface?
My life does not have to be completely together because my identity is not based on my performance or appearance. What freedom in those glorious truths.
Moments of insecurity often arise when I am tired and running late. Just the fact I am running late is enough for me to hear the old and familiar accusations.”You are not enough. Look you can’t even get ready on time. What is wrong with you?”
As I raced around trying to get ready, I questioned my outfit. Doubts raced through my mind. “Do I like this outfit? Do I look beautiful? Does this outfit make me look fat?”
Before dashing out the door, I realized I had almost forgotten the present we had for our friends we would see later that evening. While I had bought the gift far in advance, I had not taken time to wrap it. As I tried to quickly find a gift bag, the accusations that screamed at me were “This room is a mess. Why can’t you get organized so you can find things quickly? Why didn’t you wrap this ahead of time? You are a failure.”
All of these doubts and accusations happened in a very short amount of time. They all boiled down to the deep fear of “I am not enough. I am a failure.”
If you had asked me last night if I was struggling with insecurity, my answer would have been no. I felt content and at peace with myself. Yet, all it took was one hurried morning to bring out some insecurities and lies that still lurked below the surface.
God has been incredibly faithful. He has brought me so far in this journey. A journey towards wholeness and freedom. A journey towards to my identity as His Beloved.
When I stop and take a moment to reflect on what I know to be true, the fears and accusations are silenced.
The truth sets us free. The truth that God, my Abba Father, declares over my life is that I am His beloved daughter. He says that I am enough. He loves me, delights in me, and accepts me completely. Simply because I am His child. It is not based on anything that I can do. I am free from striving. I am whole, complete, and free in Him.
May I declare and truly live in my identity as His beloved!